The Beginning

Day One.  The first day.  The Beginning. 

Weight: 212.4
How do I feel:
bloated - too many carbs last night
dehydrated - not enough water to keep up with my breastfed 10 month old
sore - lymph nodes behind my ears are swollen
achey - probably due to dehydration and lack of sleep...or sleeping in a cockeyed and crooked position as baby slept in with us last night...again.

I've been on this road before.  It looks familiar.  I am pretty good at navigating and not opposed to taking a few wrong turns to discover a new path, a good shortcut or a prettier view.  And so, I am setting out again to lose weight and regain some health.  I know I can be successful in losing - I've done it before. 

Overweight for most of my life, I have gained and lost umpteen times before.

I'd like to say that I am only back here again because I know I CAN lose it. I allowed myself to gain weight because I had this foolish confidence that I would just shed the fat when I was ready.

But the truth is, I am here because I let myself be swallowed whole, consumed. by other parts of my life to the point that I fail to take care of myself.  I prop myself up when I need energy or soothing with food.  I do not compartmentalize well.  When I worked in a demanding job, I was the job.  When my babies have been small, I was all things "mommy" and nothing else.  And that is how I got here - by failing to maintain any reasonable semblance of health for myself. 

So, knowing that I know how to lose weight and hoping to experiment and combine several methods I have used over the years - a veritable "best of" weight loss and getting health tips & techniques, I am here to document my progress.  I've done it before, I can do it again...and hopefully, for the last time.