Well, it's been a few days since I last posted. I have been under the weather and had a bad reaction to a port wine I used in the crock pot resulting in a migraine aura episode and vomiting.  My weight has been up and down between 207.8 - 210.2. 

I have been thinking the last few days about the two camps of daily weigh-in's vs weekly (those freaks who weigh monthly or don't use scales can pound sand...that's just nuts).

I understand the thinking behind weighing monthly but I weigh daily.  As a former patient of Dr. Michael Anchors, I learned that weighing daily allows me to understand my bodies natural fluctuations.  It also allows me to see an increase when it happens and not a week or more later.  It is so easy to fall off the wagon but who wants to go chasing that wagon once it is a week ahead of you?  Wouldn't it be easier to jump back on right away?

When I began this blog and my New Years resolution to be healthier, I planned on following a Paleo?Primal diet and going back to Dr Anchors and using Phentermine after I wean my breastfed daughter this coming spring. 

Then my mom sent me a book called, The Plan by Lyn-Gentry Recitas.  It is a brand new publication and is catching on like wildfire.  I am only a few pages in and it already really resonates with me.  I think I am hooked.  I really need and want to lose weight.  Even moreso though, I need to feel good again.  I need to not ache.  I have been dealing with blood sugar issues, itchy skin, GI distress, bloating, disabling migraines and joint pain.  And I am only 38 years old. 

Let's hope "The Plan" is the answer. 

Day Two: The light before Dawn

Day Two
Weight: 210.2
How I feel: Eh.  Achey and tired.  I think some other lifestyle changes beyond Diet are in order but won't be happening any time soon.

Successfully GF today and almost sugar free today.  I had maybe 6 ounces of Coca-Cola...b/c I had no access to coffee.  I know a huge issue for me will be getting the 8 + hours of sleep necessary for any healthy lifestyle.

Busy days with my girls meant mommy did not get to take care of herself much.  A bowl (just one!) of GF "Mom's Best" chocolate rice crisp cereal with coconut milk. Carrots and potato chips (hey!  how did those get in here!?), scrambled eggs and hashbrowns at our dinner out (IHOP...b/c where else can you go with a 4 year old and a 10 month old and everyone can find something on the menu?), chicken breast and white rice as a snack, and then apple and cheese as another snack.  Note to self: " DO NOT TRUST HUSBAND TO MONITOR PORTION CONTROL.  HE HAS NO CLUE.  AN APPLE THE SIZE OF MY HEAD AND AN ENTIRE BRICK OF CHEESE IS NOT A LATE NIGHT SNACK."

But I DID buy this book, Practical Paleo, by Diane Sanfilippo.  I like that it does not read like a poorly edited Masters thesis.  It has colorful charts and diagrams and should be an easy read between diaper changes, Cheerios, Mommy-can-you-wipe-me calls, and breastfeeding sessions.

I find one of my biggest hurdles to be breakfast.  I nurse the baby, then the toddler, baby and I go downstairs and I make breakfast for both of them.  By this point, baby is HOWLING to eat, so I have to sit to feed her and don't get a chance to make something for myself. 

So, I Googled "paleo breakfast" and every. single. result. includes. bacon.  But, "bacon makes everything better", right?  Yes, it does.  The fact is, I think bacon is delicious.  However, I strive to not eat pork.  I have issues with slaughtering an animal that ranks higher in intelligence than our beloved dog just so I can have some tasty breakfast meat to be out of order.  Can't do it.  Pigs feel fear and they know they are going to die.  They are raised in deplorable and cruel conditions.  I won't go further but I will say that I will NOT be eating bacon or pork for the sake of this lifestyle change.

So, back to breakfast...in an attempt to find pork free breakfast ideas, I Googled, "kosher paleo" and was pleased to find both a Facebook page AND a group!  Some of the great ideas they shared with me where to pre-cut and prep veggies and throw those in to eggs.  Pre-make little crustless mini quiches. Also, to replace bacon in any recipe with salmon or lamb.  {insert sound of screeching brakes here...I will not be eating lamb, either.  Not because they are smart, but because they are babies.) 

And so it was I was to be off to the grocery store for....bananas for the kids, bread for the kids, and meat and eggs and veg for the husband and me.  And then Costco happened.

$200 worth of meat and some brussels sprouts.  Forgot to get eggs.  Bananas.  Gahh....have to go shopping again tomorrow.

And so that is where I shall leave this blog entry.  No sonic boom in to the new lifestyle.  No real tangible progress made.  Just a new book and a boatload of meat. 

Maybe tomorrow will be better...

The Beginning

Day One.  The first day.  The Beginning. 

Weight: 212.4
How do I feel:
bloated - too many carbs last night
dehydrated - not enough water to keep up with my breastfed 10 month old
sore - lymph nodes behind my ears are swollen
achey - probably due to dehydration and lack of sleep...or sleeping in a cockeyed and crooked position as baby slept in with us last night...again.

I've been on this road before.  It looks familiar.  I am pretty good at navigating and not opposed to taking a few wrong turns to discover a new path, a good shortcut or a prettier view.  And so, I am setting out again to lose weight and regain some health.  I know I can be successful in losing - I've done it before. 

Overweight for most of my life, I have gained and lost umpteen times before.

I'd like to say that I am only back here again because I know I CAN lose it. I allowed myself to gain weight because I had this foolish confidence that I would just shed the fat when I was ready.

But the truth is, I am here because I let myself be swallowed whole, consumed. by other parts of my life to the point that I fail to take care of myself.  I prop myself up when I need energy or soothing with food.  I do not compartmentalize well.  When I worked in a demanding job, I was the job.  When my babies have been small, I was all things "mommy" and nothing else.  And that is how I got here - by failing to maintain any reasonable semblance of health for myself. 

So, knowing that I know how to lose weight and hoping to experiment and combine several methods I have used over the years - a veritable "best of" weight loss and getting health tips & techniques, I am here to document my progress.  I've done it before, I can do it again...and hopefully, for the last time.